Pairing: Park Yoochun and OC
Summary: Two diary entries from two people brought together by fate. On one hand, a girl starting a new life in a new city while she reaches for he dreams. On the other hand, a guy healing from the end of a beautiful past. What has fate installed for them?
Quote: Words without actions are empty. Actions without words are confusing.
A/N: I'm now inspired to post my fics again...Haha.. Comments are loved...Betaed by ting5 .
28 September 2008
For the first time, I felt jealousy creeping through my veins as if my heart would overload with so many overwhelming emotions welled up inside of me. Anger, fear, sadness, insecurity—a disgusting concoction of feelings that I never thought I would feel. Damn it even Aya never made me feel this jealous before. How could Cherry have this effect on me? Just the plain sight of her with another guy would make me want to start another world war.
Just this morning, I was going about my apartment thinking of a possible way to get to talk to Cherry when I came upon the bracelet she lost the day we met. I held it in my hand and felt a sense of familiarity that I couldn’t quite catch on. I smiled knowing that I finally found a way to talk to her again. Not the most romantic way of confessing but I thought it was the perfect way to get to talk to her—or so I thought.
The whole day at the clinic past by as a blur since the excitement of getting to talk to Cherry made me rushed out of the clinic when the clock struck five. On the way home, I passed by Starbucks and thought of the day she poured a whole cup of cappuccino on me. The memory brought a smile to my lips and I had the sudden urge to buy her one. As I entered the cafe, my gaze immediately locked on two figures sitting on a table near the window. And I realized it was her, with another man, looking happy. The image of her with that guy was still etched on my mind until now. The way she laughed when he said something, the way she would hit him playfully, the way he tapped her shoulders, every single touch they shared made me want to punch the lights of the guy. However, before I decided to do anything stupid, I stormed out of the cafe and did my best to calm the sudden rush of jealousy running through my veins.
As I wandered around the city for the rest of the afternoon, I clutched on tightly to the bracelet I wanted to return to her. I wanted to tell her so many things. I wanted to tell her what I’ve come to realize the past few days. I wanted to tell her that I needed her. I wanted to ask her, beg her, if she would be willing to teach me to love again—a request I haven’t asked anyone before. I wanted her to know that I’m willing to try if she would let me. I wanted her to know that she already had a place in my heart.
However, just like the last time I wanted to talk to her, I lost all my confidence before I got the chance to. Just this evening, when she went into the elevator with the guy she was with earlier this afternoon at Starbucks, jealousy struck me again for the second time today. I wanted to pull her out of the elevator and bring her somewhere else to tell her how I feel. But then I didn’t get to do that, I just stayed glued to where I was standing while staring at the close proximity of their reflections on the elevator door. Her eyes showed the pain in her heart. She looked as if she wanted to run away, as far away from me as possible. Cherry’s wish was fulfilled as minutes later the elevator stopped at her floor. And as she stepped out of the elevator with the guy, I gathered the last dose of confidence I had and grabbed her hand. She was shocked, I could tell, and I did what I had to do—I placed the bracelet in her hands and let go of her hand. And before the elevator door closed, the image of the guy putting his arms around her was the only thing imprinted in my mind till now.
So was that how things would be? I realized I needed her but she found another guy? Sigh. There goes my forever.
September 28, 2008
Words without actions are empty. Actions without words are confusing. The rage in his eyes, the glares he gave Jaejoong, the way he grabbed my hand and returned the bracelet, the sad look in his face when Jaejoong put his arms around my shoulders. I don’t know what his actions meant. Yoochun never said anything. He just did what he did without any explanations. I’m confused. Why did he return the bracelet? Why now? Did he want to talk to me about what happened? Then why didn’t he do so? Oh, right. I was with Jae. Did he think Jaejoong was my boyfriend or something? Sigh. I don’t even want to think about it. How I wish Jae didn’t visit me today. Although I appreciated that Jae came here to cheer me up, I can’t help myself from wishing that Jaejoong didn’t come visit me today. If only he wasn’t here then maybe Yoochun would have talked to me. Maybe Yoochun would explain and tell me how he really feels. But Yoochun didn’t talk to me, he didn’t explain. He just grabbed my hand, returned the bracelet and nothing more. Remembering how he looked so angry in the elevator made me think if he was jealous. Was he...jealous? Did he get jealous that I was with another guy? Did he get jealous when Jaejoong put his arm around my shoulder? Oh how I wish he was. At least it would mean that somehow, I’m important to him. Somehow, Yoochun didn’t want to let me go. But then he never said anything. Nothing, and now...I’m confused.
P.S. Another rose at the front door. Jaejoong asked me about it and I just said it was from someone I don’t know. I don’t really care anymore anyway.