Pairing: Park Yoochun and OC
Summary: Two diary entries from two people brought together by fate. On one hand, a girl starting a new life in a new city while she reaches for he dreams. On the other hand, a guy healing from the end of a beautiful past. What has fate installed for them?
Quote: Be happy without me.
A/N: I'm now inspired to post my fics again...Haha.. Comments are loved...Betaed by ting5 .
September 27, 2008
It has been raining for the whole day. This was the second time I have experienced the rain since I moved here. The first one was on the day after Yoochun got sick. We were so thankful at that time because we got home in time before the rain started pouring. It was quite a coincidence that the weather’s reflecting my mood today. It’s like the heavens are shedding tears that never get to fall from my eyes. My friend once said that the way you can clean air is through rain and how I wished the rain could do the same for my heart—clean my heart of the pain that I’m feeling. When I walked out of my boss’s house after the renovation, there were umbrellas everywhere and now, as I looked through my window at the people walking down the streets I can’t help but wonder how many of them are sharing their umbrellas with their special someone. I remembered a movie I watched where the couple shared a jacket to get to their destination. Although it was not that romantic since they had to run all the way, I thought it was very sweet and special. Will I still get a chance to do that? Share an umbrella with my special someone? Will I get to share an umbrella with Yoochun? Sigh. As I looked out the window, I can’t help but wonder if Yoochun was under one of those umbrellas or perhaps was one of those who were running in the rain to get home. Sigh. I wonder how is Yoochun doing right now. I haven’t seen him in three days. Is he at work? Did he bring an umbrella? I hope he did. He was sick last week and I hope he’s more careful now. Sigh. I miss him.
26 September 2008
I woke up this morning to the sound of raindrops hitting the window and it reminded me of the time I had lunch with Cherry and we got home just in time before it rained. Most of the time when it rains I would just stay in my apartment and sleep the whole day since going out would be a hassle. But today, I had to go somewhere to visit someone special. I decided to stop by the flower shop before going there and bought a bouquet of daisies. It was a very damp walk towards my destination. It was located a bit uphill and I was thankful that I didn’t slip on the way. When I got there, the rain was still pouring and the tombstone was in a way cleansed of dirt, making the carvings more visible. It still looked the same as the last time I have visited. Aya’s name was written perfectly with her birthday and also the day she died carved under her name. The last line on the tombstone was the line she told me just moments before she died, “Be happy without me.”
Although everything was very much the same, the only thing different was what I felt. For the first time, I visited her tomb feeling less pain in my heart. It was easier to breath and I didn’t cry the whole time I was there. Also, for the first time, the line “Be happy without me” seemed more realistic. It used to be a very vague idea and I thought that being happy was next to impossible. Whenever I visited her, I would ask her how to be happy and the only answer that I would get was a gush of wind and distant sound of sad music. But now, I didn’t ask her that same question. Instead, I asked her if she was happy. I realized that I haven’t asked her that since she died. I remembered what Junsu said when she died, he said that I should do my best to live without her because if I don’t she would feel sad in heaven because I was not taking care of myself.
Come to think of it I’ve been quite selfish, always crying and asking why she left me, not even thinking how she felt when she left all the people she loved behind. Now, for the first time since her death, I finally meant it when I promised her that I would do my best to be happy because now I knew that I won’t be doing my best alone. I may have finally found someone who could make me happy. After I made that promise, I felt a gentle gush of wind and my nose caught the faint scent of vanilla—Aya’s usual perfume. Well, I just hoped that this certain someone would be willing to help me. Well, here goes my everything. No guts no glory. Fighting!