raindrop_symphony (raindrop_symph) wrote,

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18 Roses (15th Rose)

Title: 18 Roses
Pairing: Park Yoochun and OC
Rating: PG
Summary: Two diary entries from two people brought together by fate. On one hand, a girl starting a new life in a new city while she reaches for he dreams. On the other hand, a guy healing from the end of a beautiful past. What has fate installed for them?
Quote: "Teach me how to love again."  "Are you ready to fall in-love again?"
A/N: I'm now inspired to post my fics again...Haha.. Comments are loved...Betaed by ting5 .

15th Rose

September 26, 2008

Dear Diary,

          I called Jaejoong this morning. I decided that I can’t keep this to myself anymore. I needed someone to talk to and Jaejoong would be the best person to do that. I was feeling a bit guilty for calling him in such short notice especially now that he’s preparing for his wedding. But then again, what choice do I have? I needed to talk to someone who would understand. Although Chie has been very kind to me, I don’t think talking to her would be a good idea especially the fact that she is Yoochun’s cousin.

          So Jaejoong arrived around noon and from the look he gave me, he knew something was wrong. We’ve known each other long enough and he knows me very well. Over lunch, I told him what happened, about Yoochun, my feelings for him and what happened two days ago. Jae was shocked, knowing that I was not the kind of person to do such things unless I’ve thoroughly thought about it. Still, Jae was understanding enough to not judge what I had done. He knew that I won’t do something like this unless I love the person, and I really love Yoochun. Jae said loving someone’s like taking medicines, if you’re not the right medicine then you can’t cure the sickness no matter how hard you try. I know what he meant. Am I Yoochun’s right medicine then? Can I cure him from his pain? But what if I’m not? Sigh. Jae was right, I need to talk to Yoochun but then I can’t bring myself to do that. I’m still scared. Call me stubborn but like what I said, I don’t want to get hurt. Am I being selfish to want to keep myself from getting hurt? For the first time in my life I fell so deeply in love with someone only to get hurt. I guess what people say is right, “All love stories are stories of unrequited love.”


P.S. One rose at the front door and a note that said, “Teach me how to love again.” Can I do that? Can I teach someone how to love when I myself am a novice at this thing called LOVE?





26 September 2008

          I wandered around the city today thinking how I was going to talk to Cherry. Yesterday when I woke up, she was gone. I’m not sure what to think of that but I guess it was better for both of us to have some space and to think of how we feel. I also needed some time to think of what I want to say to her and how I would say it. I wanted to be sure of my feelings when I talk to her. I’m still confused if I love her or not. It’s like there’s a thin line between love and like and I’m on that line. Certain that I like her but uncertain if I love her.

          I haven’t seen Cherry for two days. I wonder what she’s doing right now. Is she alright? Is she thinking about what happened? How is she feeling? Sigh. How I wish I could talk to her. But then if I do, would she be willing to talk to me? What if she doesn’t want to see me anymore? What do I do then? Sigh.

          I went to Yunho’s office this afternoon. I desperately needed to talk to someone so I decided on Yunho. Yunho was always good with advices. Well, I was glad that Yunho listened to me while I narrated everything that had happened over the past few days. By the time I finished my story I could see that Yunho was torn between giving me a lengthy lecture or friendly advice but I felt that he decided on the latter as I listened to him talk. Yunho said he was shocked. Although he felt that Cherry and I were getting close he never thought that we would reach that level so fast. Actually, Yunho didn’t say much but then what he asked me was still running in my mind till now.  He asked me a question, “Are you ready to love again?” Am I ready to love again? Can I finally let go of the past and move on? Can I do that on my own? Or do I need someone to teach me how to love again?



Tags: band: dong bang shin ki, completed: 18 roses, pairing: yoochun and oc

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